A set of four fake CMU missed connections: "To the asianest asian who ever asianed, I'm so into you (because you're asian)", "To the guy who was walking through Doherty two weeks ago, who I will provide no further descriptors of, you're so fine", "To the girl I've been unflinchingly staring down for the whole semester, I can't tell if you're into me or deeply terrified of me, but I think we both want the same thing [smirk emoji]", and "I wanna fuck my TA so bad"

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Editor-in-Chief: Eshaan Joshi

All the news unfit to print!

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A representative sample of CMU Missed Connections.

// "Tyan Rosh" • Vol 3, Issue 6 • March 26, 2025