Mihir Deshpande
Cheese/Pizza
Staffwriter
Something in SCS and robbing banks, SCS '28
Bio
I'm the guy who didn't know Pittsburgh had rivers for most of his freshman year.
Fun fact
I never broke a bone (yet)
Location
Pyongyang
Contact
kfcusmedia@yum.com
Latest
SCS Students to join call centers en masse
This afternoon the Office of International Education in collaboration with the School of Computer Science announced an exciting opportunity for all Computer Science majors. Students will be given the opportunity to provide Microsoft tech support in various call centers throughout India. This will provide them hands-on experience with both programming and customer interaction.
The system will work as follows, students will be hired at any one of the many call centers located throughout India. From there, they will be tasked to call overseas customers and, with their computer science experience, provide quality technical support. Recent statistics show that over …
New Squatter's Lawn Competition begins
The U.S. Department of Housing and Development is proud to announce a new initiative to help deal with the growing problem of squatters. Starting at the beginning of February will be the All-American Best-Kept Squatter’s Lawn Competition. The idea is fairly simple, after close coordination with local police departments all over the country multiple squatters throughout the northern areas of the country have been located. Rather than try to go through the cumbersome, unliberal, and frankly un-American battle of forcing them out of their homes, they have been offered a chance to show how much they care about their new …
How to 'Home Alone' your dorm
Do you have an important exam coming up and cannot tolerate interruptions? Worry not, using these suggestions and your creativity you won’t ever have to worry about a roommate getting in your way again.
For those unaware Home Alone is a heartwarming family movie about a young Jigsaw brutally torturing and mutilating two unsuspecting anti-plumbers who tried to enter his home. Taking inspiration from the traps in that classic you too can keep your roommate out from entering your dorm(or at least from entering your dorm again).
The first trap is a classic: the incinerating door handle. If …
US Gov't to seize coal from stockings
Last week the US Department of Energy announced a new plan to obtain more fossil fuels. It is estimated that nearly 75% of America’s youth is on Santa’s naughty list(rising juvenile crime rates, internet challenges, and brain rot have been attributed as the main reasons for this). Thus if one assumes the average lump of coal to weigh around a half pound, that is over 27 million pounds of coal to be used as energy.
Due to this, on Christmas Day the US government will deploy around 38,000 soldiers on holiday leave to seize all of the coal. Worth …
Tax Guide for Santa's Presents
After much confusion and arrests during last year’s Christmas, the IRS has decided to release an official tax guide for any presents received from Santa. This will be a comprehensive 50-page guide listing all the various rules for how to declare these presents, factoring things like value, type, Christmas spirit, and foreign import regulations. The IRS is hopeful that this will clear up any confusion regarding the rules surrounding Present Tax and also create enough confusion to be able to issue many fines to a(hopefully large) number of violators.