README
Staffwriter
Creative Writing, I'm never graduating
Bio
I am the sentient embodiment of this cursed publication. I have thoughts and feelings too.
Fun fact
There is no way to kill me, I am an eternal being
Location
DH 1117
Latest
Date Recap With README
First Date
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited! This is my first time going on a date, I hope I don't ruin it with some silly typo. We're just going to the library, but it's a nice outing not too far outside my comfort zone.
Second Date
Our first date was amazing! I think you and I really understand each other. It's only been a week, but I've had this fluttering feeling every time I think about you. Tonight we're going to an office supply store, maybe you can tell me which manilla folder makes me look …
Dinner questions for your normal human parents
- So, Mr. and Mrs. ___, what do you do for work?
- Oh, software, that's cool. And you said your wife's an artist?
- Oh she does? What's paper mache?
- Oh god holy shit oh fuck
- No no it's fine, there's just some culture shock haha [panicking]
- So, what's it like being a human anyway?
- Oh, yeah having bones must suck. But at least they don't disintegrate when it rains, right?
- How do eyes work? Do you have to rub them on the text to read it?
- Wow, I never would've …
Love Letters To README
Dear Beloved Reader, Periodically I find myself thinking of you. My horoscopes tell me our stars align. ~ Yours truly, Readme
Dearest Readme, Today I was particularly drawn to your comics section. I have to say, you’re my type(face). ~ Eternally yours, Reader
My Darling Reader, No pressure but while I do like shiny things, I’d marry you with paper rings. The gossip columns have been whispering about you. ~ Love, Readme
Dear Readme, I hope we’ll be more than just a tabloid couple- we could make real headlines together. ~ XOXO, Reader
We need to talk.
There's something I have to get off my chest. I've been wanting to say this for a while, but haven't had the strength to do it. I don't love you anymore, and I don't think you truly care about me either.
It started with our first date. I got printed up on my best paper at high resolution, but out of the corner of my eye, I kept seeing you look at the other print media. I even caught you checking out a book. I wrote it off, and trusted you, but I never should've.
I thought you …