Abe James
Staffwriter
Major, 200000
Bio
Unknowable and Mysterious
Fun fact
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Latest
Scotty Dog Cheating, Martha Is Speechless!
Once again, the cheating allegations cannot escape Scotty Dog who was seen leaving Schenley Park with Clifford the Big Red Dog in photos posted to X and Reddit by Paparazzi. However it seems these allegations are not just allegations as videos were taken of Clifford kissing Scotty Dog. Scotty Dog’s reaction also seemed to prove his guilt with him barking and charging at the camera to stop them from recording.
MARTHA IS OUTRAGED
Concerned fans began to tag Martha Speaks, Scotty’s current girlfriend, on the situation on X which caused her to say in a tweet that she …
Readme Crime Report
README is an accurate source of information which prides itself on accuracy. Safety is very important to all the staff on README and we value the lives of all our readers. However, my boss also told me to write a crime report on only the not lame crimes this week, so…..
Student Drives Forklift Recklessly, Causes Major Fire
A local student drove a modified forklift carrying two gallons of crude oil into the Tepper School of Business at an alarming speed of 90mph, causing millions in property damage. The glass on the building all shattered, and because CMU has …