"Roan Tysh"
they/them
Staffwriter
Undecided, 2028
Bio
Pursuing a BS in Undecided, class of 2028. You'll never guess my name.
Fun fact
My cat's name is Poppy and she knows how you die
Location
Doherty B, in a staring contest with the cameras
Contact
rtosh@andrew.cmu.edu
Latest
Dying CMU students will now take "Finals"
On Friday, Warner Hall announced a policy of "Finals" (with a capital "F"), much to the confusion of the student body. While the specifics of the plan have yet to be shared, administration has made concepts of it clear: all CMU students who die during the fall and spring semesters will be subject to "Finals" recapping the sum of their human experience.
The content of the Finals was initially unclear, but Gina Casalegno, Vice President of Student Life and Student Death, was quick to provide a syllabus for a 0-unit course, "Mortality" (with codes including 00-100 for first-years and …
Iliano Spills All, Denies Ties to CIA!
On November 7th, README secured an interview with one of CMU's most famed figures: Dr. Illiano Cervesato, the professor for Principles of Imperative Computing. Reproduced below are some of the most intriguing, incriminating, and downright intransient questions and answers we got from this unprecedented collaboration.
Your class is infamous for its strictness on academic integrity, do you think– [Iliano: Infamous?] –infamous, yeah [both chuckle] that's the word they used. Do you think that students are more likely to cheat in 122, or just more likely to get caught?
Maybe both? They are more likely to cheat because it's …
What is MIT
To most of us, "MIT" stands for one thing, and one thing only: an overused BSD-style software license. But in a suburb of Boston, a little-known private university known as Massachusetts Institute of Technology has been racking up accolades at an impressive rate, sparking curiosity among CMU students and faculty.
The gist of MIT is pretty simple: it's basically a smaller, shittier CMU. With an undergraduate population of 4500 and a graduate population of 7300, it hasn't quite caught up to our Carnegie Tech, which boasts 7700 undergrads and 8600 graduate students. While CMU's historic campus spans a range …
CMU to Issue Free and Open Source Driver's License
In the software industry, the Free and Open Source Software (or FOSS) movement has long pushed for licenses, such as GPL and BSD, which allow code to be seen, copied, and improved upon by anyone. This is in opposition to proprietary software, in which the source code is private and under strict copyright protections. Until recently, even the state of Pennsylvania has taken such a restrictive view on licensing: driver's licenses, despite being easy to copy and modify, are placed under unnecessary and limiting restrictions.
CMU, as an institution for the promotion of knowledge, stands in opposition to anything …
ROTC caught building "stealth" booth
It seemed like a normal night at first to Scott Snuffy, an unassuming Dietrich student, until while walking home from a late-night recitation, he noticed something odd. "A wooden plank seemed to lift itself into the air, all on its own." Few believed him, until he tried recording the phenomenon on film. Once closely analyzed, a CMU forensics team discovered that the plank was in fact being lifted, but by a 19 year old in camoflage, disguised perfectly against the CFA parking lot.
Further investigation revealed something shocking: CMU's own detachment of the Army ROTC had been building an …